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Twitchin Kitten - conversation community › The Club House › Laugh Your Ass Off v
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Jokes, Funnies and Email Jollies

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Jokes, Funnies and Email Jollies
LKTraz Offline
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  Favorite Quote: "We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle." -- Winston Churchill
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#41
04-08-2010, 03:51 PM
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Twills......how did you ever find such classy photos? LOL
[Image: alcatraz-prison-picture2-1.jpg]
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Jamminitin Offline
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#42
04-08-2010, 05:38 PM
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(04-08-2010, 03:51 PM)LKTraz Wrote: Twills......how did you ever find such classy photos? LOL

Family reunion-DUH!!!

Giggle
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Twilla Offline
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#43
04-14-2010, 06:06 PM
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[Image: sandras.gif]
Support mental health care... or I'll kill you. Crazy
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#44
04-14-2010, 06:40 PM
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That's kinda funny...Jesse James is a douche. If not for some great-great-great uncle being a train robbing douche, he would still be a nothing douche. But being that he is a famous douche, I gotta hear about his dumb sorry ass for a couple of months now.
I would let Sandra kick my ass any time she wanted.
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Twilla Offline
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#45
04-14-2010, 07:54 PM
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.gif   showerduck.gif (Size: 141.21 KB / Downloads: 48)
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Twilla Offline
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#46
04-15-2010, 05:31 PM
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.jpg   image001(6).jpg (Size: 24.25 KB / Downloads: 38)
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LKTraz Offline
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#47
04-15-2010, 07:11 PM
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Reminds me of the Gumby's from Monty Python!
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Twilla Offline
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#48
04-15-2010, 07:40 PM
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That bacon Hitler makes me laugh every time I look at him.
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LKTraz Offline
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#49
05-01-2010, 07:52 AM
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RETARDED GRANDPARENTS
(This was actually reported by a teacher)

After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their
holiday away from School.


One child wrote the following:

We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa.

They used to live in a big brick house but Grandpa got retarded and they
moved to Arizona .

Now they live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like
grass. They ride around on their bicycles and wear name tags because
they don't know who they are anymore.

They go to a building called a wreck center, but they must have got it
fixed because it is all okay now, they do exercises there, but they
don't do them very well.

There is a swimming pool too, but they all jump up and down in it with
hats on.

At the gate there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it.
He watches all day so nobody can escape.

Sometimes they sneak out, and go cruising in their golf carts.

Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And, they eat the same thing
every night --- early birds.

Some of the people can't get out past the man in the doll house.

The ones who do get out, bring food back to the wreck center for pot
luck.

My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment
and says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday too.

When I earn my retardment I want to be the man in the doll house.

Then I will let people out so they can visit their grandchildren.

.... PRICELESS
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LKTraz Offline
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  Favorite Quote: "We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle." -- Winston Churchill
  My Attitude: Not as think as you drunk I am

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#50
05-03-2010, 05:52 PM
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SPAGHETTI

A man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child... If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write ' Spaghetti ' on the back. He would then arrange for the Child support payment to begin. One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. ' Honey, ' she said, ' You received a very strange post card today. ' ' Oh, just give it to me and I ' ll explain it later, ' he said. The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.
On the card was written:


' Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.

Three with meatballs, two without.

Send Extra Sauce!
[Image: alcatraz-prison-picture2-1.jpg]
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