08-16-2009, 07:28 PM
0
So today is the day I decide I need to go out and get me a new office chair. I can feel the screws holding the seat to the base on this one and it's killing me! My poor ass.
So off we go. Checklist of destinations:
Bank to get papers notarized
Staples for chair
Lunch
Bank went quite smoothly. Got the papers done and ready to go.
Off to Staples.
I sit in a few chairs and found only ONE to be suitable for my delicate bottom. Only it costs $200 !!! It's pleather and only one adjustment, up or down.
Yeah, yeah it swivels and rocks but I expect more for that price - it's crap workmanship and for the money I can go to any good furniture store and buy a comfy living room chair!
So, we go down the other end of the lot to Target to see what they have. What's in between Staples and Target? PetCo and a big truck from the North Shore Animal League running an adoption campaign. Don't look Twitch, don't look!!!!
The barking was drawing me in.... Matt's heart is aching, "Can't you hear that little bark saying, "adopt me please?"
DON'T FUCKING LOOK!!!!!! Get over there and park by Target.
So, off we go into Target to look at chairs. That was a waste of time. The Target chairs are crapola! So we start to mull around the store. I never go there. Don't know why, but I just don't. So as we're mulling around we wind up in linens and pillows. It reminds me that the pillow I just bought for like $60 is no good for me. It's really hurting my neck and I want a different one.
So I wind up buying a pillow and a cover for it.
So we pay and out the door we go. Back to Staples on the other end of the lot.
We get to the stop sign and two morons are blocking the way arguing between the two vehicles.
Guess who taught Matt that laying on the horn is a very useful tool to get morons out of your way?
Turns out they take this to the Staples lot - It's a Hasidic Jew and some white guy. Wanna bet the white guy made some anti-semetic remark and got the Jew irate?
You should have seen it though, it was quite funny watching both of them and then Matt and me passing them twice waving as if they're our best friends.
They didn't like that. Hey, but it stopped them from fighting!
So where next? Let's hit the other Staples down the road (yes we have these stores like wild mushrooms around here.) to see if there are more selections.
Yep, there was. But nothing useful or of any quality worth wasting my money on. So we leave, we're starving anyway so we head up to the Jamaican place up the road.
Guess what isn't open for another 20 minutes? It was now 3:10. We hadn't eaten all day. But Richard is a doll of a man and we wanted to eat and visit.
So, where can we go to kill time? Home Depot!! It's up the block a ways. So off we go. What do I see in Home Depot? A dollar store! OOOH let's kill some time in there.
I wind up buying two tin foil trays and a pumice stone. We need to kill 10 more minutes!!
So we decided to hit the liquor store to get some byob to Ja Rock. Mikes Hard Lime it is.
So, we finally get to dinner at Ja Rock. We're enjoying our time waiting for our food to be cooked, Richard is the host with the most and what do we notice? The fat, sloppy, slovenly waitress clumping around in her wooden flip flops wiping her face, nose and mouth all while holding someones dinner plate!
I had Matt tell Richard. He came to us to apologize and made sure he served us our food. He explained that the waitress he had on for today had to leave for a few minutes and would be right back and never returned. This girl is a last minute call. He was none too happy to be stuck with a slob like that.
But dinner was enjoyable and we decide Big Lots is on the way home. Let's take a chance on a chair there. No luck, the store is a shambles and we are leaving... what do we see out in the parking lot?
THE BEAST OF THE EAST!
This filthy, sloppy fat broad, preggers, no bra, did I say fat? and what does she have on her arm? A temporary tattoo that says, 'Naked'
across her shoulder. Did I mention she was scantily clad to boot?
I almost ran back into the store to follow her and take a picture for you all but it would have been obvious since I did get her attention when I said just a little too loudly, "Some people should never be allowed to breed."
So I'm now home and here, with the ugliest bitch I have ever seen to ruin what was actually a good day!
So off we go. Checklist of destinations:
Bank to get papers notarized
Staples for chair
Lunch
Bank went quite smoothly. Got the papers done and ready to go.
Off to Staples.
I sit in a few chairs and found only ONE to be suitable for my delicate bottom. Only it costs $200 !!! It's pleather and only one adjustment, up or down.
Yeah, yeah it swivels and rocks but I expect more for that price - it's crap workmanship and for the money I can go to any good furniture store and buy a comfy living room chair!
So, we go down the other end of the lot to Target to see what they have. What's in between Staples and Target? PetCo and a big truck from the North Shore Animal League running an adoption campaign. Don't look Twitch, don't look!!!!
The barking was drawing me in.... Matt's heart is aching, "Can't you hear that little bark saying, "adopt me please?"
DON'T FUCKING LOOK!!!!!! Get over there and park by Target.
So, off we go into Target to look at chairs. That was a waste of time. The Target chairs are crapola! So we start to mull around the store. I never go there. Don't know why, but I just don't. So as we're mulling around we wind up in linens and pillows. It reminds me that the pillow I just bought for like $60 is no good for me. It's really hurting my neck and I want a different one.
So I wind up buying a pillow and a cover for it.
So we pay and out the door we go. Back to Staples on the other end of the lot.
We get to the stop sign and two morons are blocking the way arguing between the two vehicles.
Guess who taught Matt that laying on the horn is a very useful tool to get morons out of your way?
Turns out they take this to the Staples lot - It's a Hasidic Jew and some white guy. Wanna bet the white guy made some anti-semetic remark and got the Jew irate?
You should have seen it though, it was quite funny watching both of them and then Matt and me passing them twice waving as if they're our best friends.
They didn't like that. Hey, but it stopped them from fighting!
So where next? Let's hit the other Staples down the road (yes we have these stores like wild mushrooms around here.) to see if there are more selections.
Yep, there was. But nothing useful or of any quality worth wasting my money on. So we leave, we're starving anyway so we head up to the Jamaican place up the road.
Guess what isn't open for another 20 minutes? It was now 3:10. We hadn't eaten all day. But Richard is a doll of a man and we wanted to eat and visit.
So, where can we go to kill time? Home Depot!! It's up the block a ways. So off we go. What do I see in Home Depot? A dollar store! OOOH let's kill some time in there.
I wind up buying two tin foil trays and a pumice stone. We need to kill 10 more minutes!!
So we decided to hit the liquor store to get some byob to Ja Rock. Mikes Hard Lime it is.
So, we finally get to dinner at Ja Rock. We're enjoying our time waiting for our food to be cooked, Richard is the host with the most and what do we notice? The fat, sloppy, slovenly waitress clumping around in her wooden flip flops wiping her face, nose and mouth all while holding someones dinner plate!
I had Matt tell Richard. He came to us to apologize and made sure he served us our food. He explained that the waitress he had on for today had to leave for a few minutes and would be right back and never returned. This girl is a last minute call. He was none too happy to be stuck with a slob like that.
But dinner was enjoyable and we decide Big Lots is on the way home. Let's take a chance on a chair there. No luck, the store is a shambles and we are leaving... what do we see out in the parking lot?
THE BEAST OF THE EAST!
This filthy, sloppy fat broad, preggers, no bra, did I say fat? and what does she have on her arm? A temporary tattoo that says, 'Naked'
across her shoulder. Did I mention she was scantily clad to boot?
I almost ran back into the store to follow her and take a picture for you all but it would have been obvious since I did get her attention when I said just a little too loudly, "Some people should never be allowed to breed."
So I'm now home and here, with the ugliest bitch I have ever seen to ruin what was actually a good day!
![[Image: PancakeBunny.jpg]](http://www.twitchinkitten.com/myphotos/PancakeBunny.jpg)
I have no idea what you're talking about so here's a bunny with a pancake on it's head