The sick twisted wish game

[LKTraz]

0

Granted. All the weeds and debris will clear themselves but, they end up in your living room behind the couch and eventually take root and crawl the walls and furniture.


I wish I didn't have to work.

[Twitchin Kitten]

0

Granted, but you'd be a bum living on the streets in a city that has no weather warmer than 50 degrees. You'll have a bum mate named Gerty who likes to collect pet rats.

I wish my granny can come back to life.

[Rhubarb]

0

Granted but you will have to have all her other relatives too, brothers and sisters, (great-aunties and uncles).

I wish Columbus had found Australia first.

[Twitchin Kitten]

0

Granted but through the spirit knowledge of the Aboriginals they saw into the alternate future and knew what the future would bring to the native people and made sure any new comers to the island were under their rule instead thwarting any slavery bullshit or programs to breed the black out of them. White people were kept in their place.

I wish winter this year were as warm as summer.

FYI Trudi - your granted wish for my granny has no sick and twisted consequenses! I liked her side of the family!

[LKTraz]

0

Granted. But because of that the following summer will be proportionately hotter by the the standard differential for the seasons. Get ready for those lovely 120 to 150 degree days!


I wish my dog could talk.

[Twitchin Kitten]

0

Granted but be prepared for him complaining about how your farts smell and how your table manners are a disgrace and how gross it is that you "do your business" indoors where you live!

I wish the lady in Home Depot today didn't fuck up the receipt and cut off the numbers so I can enter the contest to win 5K! ( grant that one :p )

[LKTraz]

0

Granted. You get a new receipt printed from the memory section of the store's point of sale database and win the 5 grand. The next day Obama tanks the US $ and it will buy you a cup of coffee if you just add another $5,000 to it. (Didn't think I could fuck that one up now did you? )


I wish beer grew on trees.

[Twitchin Kitten]

0

Granted but it's too delicate to pick! If you so much as touch the vessel it bursts with a violent explosion and instantly vaporizes, leaving you high and dry without even the chance of hope of catching some of the liquid to drink by wringing out your beer soaked clothes!

I wish I had an 'infinite kitten'. Meaning I wish there were a cat who would stay small and cute and adolescent for it's entire life.

[LKTraz]

0

Granted. But it stays at the stage where it has yet to be weaned so you'll need a lifetime supply of KMR which you'll need to feed to it around 6 times a day and the poor little thing doesn't know how to use a litter box so...........



I wish my truck had a missile launcher on the hood.

[Twitchin Kitten]

0

BAH! You fucked up my wish! the key word was ADOLESCENT not infant! ha ha on you.

now for yours:

Granted but the missles and the launcher is only available for public purchase through Iran or North Korea thus making them quite inaccurate on flight and due to the heat seeking properties, they'll always hit the warm engine of your recently driven vehicle.

I wish my most trivial posession suddenly had great value and everyone wanted it.